written by Anne Haslam
I would not be able to function effectively as a homemaker if I did not break down my endless days of household routines one day at a time. Even my worries about the future has to be dealt with one day at a time otherwise I would end up becoming a wreck trying to cope with so many things at hand.
My house will be undergoing renovations soon. My husband is on the brink of retirement. My children are growing up fast and will soon be going for further studies and I am trying to be financially free by taking on some jobs like tutoring and writing. This coupled with other minor and major decisions that have to be made daily can be rather stressful.
I have learnt that there is wisdom in taking things one day at a time and is the only way to stay serene and peaceful amidst the busyness of life. Even the teachings in the Holy Books and wise sayings from the sages state; “Do not worry about tomorrow” and this has now become my motto after suffering from anxiety, panic attacks and frayed nerves from too much worrying. Imagine having so much to do today and worrying about what is going to happen tomorrow. It is far too much for the human mind and body to handle.
On a typical morning, I start my day with quiet meditation to still and calm my mind, which is already active when I wake up in the morning. I have my whole mental list of things already drawn up so I have to bring myself to focus on the moment. I try not to think too far ahead or of any past unhappy events, which is going to mar today’s happiness. I make a conscious cleansing of my thoughts, words and deeds for today and dedicate this new day to God asking Him to give me a new mind for the day. It is a refreshing moment as I am not held captive by any negative thoughts.
For many homemakers, taking one day at a time can be a battle. Admittedly, the homemaking role is not an easy one and the challenges are many. Homemakers have to be strong, stand firm and overcome their problems to reach their goals one at a time, and one day at a time. There are no short cuts or quick solutions, only patience in the moment to accept and bear what they are facing and finding the solutions. They must not be overcome by emotions. Otherwise, all will be “lost” in the “battle.”
My neighbour, Devi, was so overcome with frustration dealing with her 11 year old son. In a moment of fury, she banged her head against the wall in hope that the boy would conform to what she was saying. Her actions backfired as the boy just stood there emotionless which made Devi very upset. She told me later that the boy was so cold hearted and she did not know how to handle him anymore. He also seemed to enjoy “outsmarting” her and would run leaving her chasing him cane in hand and breathless, while he had a smirk of satisfaction on his face.
We need to learn wisdom as mothers and be calm. We need to listen to our inner voices instead of lashing out in fury. This can be achieved if we can be still, conscious and aware of what is happening now. We should not be lost in thoughts of the future or the past. We must hear what our children are saying and choose the right words to say to our children.
Many homemakers are “absent” to the present moment as they are so preoccupied with thoughts like “what to do next,” “what chore needs to be done now,” or “who to send to which tuition” and many other such thoughts. For many homemakers, who do not have maids to help out, their daily schedules are filled with work, work and more work. Many do not ever savour the present moment and miss the beauty and joys of life.
Taking one day at a time does not mean that I do not plan for the future. It simply means I do not worry too much about the future and take on too much of its anxieties and burdens. A friend of mine worried herself sick and was hospitalised for stomach ulcers when her husband quit his job, as she was worried that there would not be enough money. The family was, however, able to ride out the storm eventually and most of her worrying about the future was in vain.
Today, when I woke up, I made a conscious effort to focus on the day, to live here and now, to enjoy it and make it meaningful so I will not have any regrets or feel stressed. If I live all my “todays” well then I know there will be hope for a good tomorrow.
Retrieved on 30th September 2009 from http://www.ehomemakers.net/en/article.php?id=1629
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